For Eng 132

car name clue #1

Normally my writing process is all done in my head, although sometimes particular lines or points I want to make will come to me randomly and I write them down on whatever is handy, like a post it note, the back of a receipt in my purse, or on my hand.  I've been trying to write less on my hand ever since I found out Sarah Palin was a "Palm Pilot" user, too.  Plus, I drink a lot of water which means I go to the bathroom a lot, and that means I wash my hands enough times at work that by the time I get home what I've written is gone. Since starting English 132 my process has had to change.

handy when used with the zoom feature.

My English class requires free writing, brain mapping, outlines, and more.  I've never written an outline for any paper.  Ever.  That's not to say that I haven't been assigned outlines.

I knew I wanted my personal essay to be about education so I needed to pick a defining moment in my life.  I had a few different ideas but the details of some incidents were sketchy, and I wasn't sure that I could come up with one single "A-ha" moment in my education.  In previous reflective essays I had successfully narrowed in one a single event, but that wasn't going to happen this time.

recording an album on a tape recorder.

So, I started looking at my father's expanding photo collection.  My father has scanned and sent more than 200 photos of me as a child, and not even 100 of my sister.  Part of the disparity, I think, is being the first born, but the reality is that my parents clearly had favorites and this is a fact that the photos reminded me of, something I ended up somewhat acknowledging in my reflective essay.  The idea that my father favored me never played a big role in my life because I lived with my mother, and since she wasn't very fond of me that was the part I decided to acknowledge.

I figured that I'd write about my experience as a young child in remedial reading and I wanted to look in the photos for details, names of books, names of cars, street names, clothing, anything that I could add to bring the early 90's alive.  I did successfully find the model of one of our old cars.  I found some titles of the books my father would put in front of me and ask me to pronounce (not that I could).  Ultimately, I didn't even use these details, but, what I also started to find were photos of me dressed up in princess costumes, things I hadn't thought about in a long time.

the kindergarten princess.

I started to think about the book I always asked my parents to read, the record that accompanied it, and the fairy tale book that become my next favorite. 

I still love fairy tales, folklore, and anything with strong archetypes, moral lessons, and similar themes fairy tales touch on.  I'm currently enamored with The Decemeberists because they make epic swashbuckling revenge songs and concept albums about mythical tragedies, all the kinds of things you'd find in fairy tales.  However, I'm far from the princess type.  So, how in the hell did that happen?

 

Yes, like most girls I was into princesses and fairy tales.  Sure, it wasn't the only thing I was into because I was also into baseball (and I did NOT throw underhanded), basketball, Nintendo, playing a red plastic guitar, dancing, recording an album, and alternating between crushing on Beetle Juice (I cannot explain this) and Macaulay Culkin, and Punky Brewster.  But, eventually, I quit the princess stuff altogether, which makes sense because I've never been graceful and I never became that girl in Reviving Ophelia who replaces all her interests to become some super shy feminine chick with no personality who only wants to fit in and date cute boys, and is apparently too threatened to raise her hand in class.  I was cursing guys out in class, so, girly girl princess? Definitely not me. 

As a super graceful Cinderella

So, then I started thinking about how that happened.  How I went from being "the happiest baby and the nicest child" (my mother's words) to being different, difficult in my mother's opinion, but also independent, fairly gender neutral, and how I wanted to take charge rather than be a princess waiting for a prince to rescue her and set her up in a nice castle with a rockin' carriage and a sweet pair of glass kicks.

It was pretty obvious to me that reading played a big role in how I was able to envision myself and transform myself into someone I wanted to be, not someone who I was told to be.  When I was able to read I wasn't at the mercy of advertisers and marketers who plucked particular fairy tales to tell to little girls on the silver screen. Through reading I was able to inhabit any story or character I wanted, and I started to think of the damsel in distress as pretty damn lame.

eat your heart out Culkin.

From that point on I started thinking about incorporating my love of fairy tales into the story and using them as metaphors throughout the story.  I didn't want to hit too hard on the usual themes of a wicked stepmother (which, while I did think then, I do not think now), but they all seemed to loosely fit the story.

I'm not sure what I would have come up with had I not started looking at old photographs because they were instrumental in jogging my memory and helping me add meaning to my experience in remedial reading.

Now....to upload my papers.