Last night I had a sex dream about a professor. Which would have been fun, except it wasn't just a sex dream...it was a...a..."love" dream. Yuck. (I guess this is what I get for reading the dankprofessor blog and all those annoying arguments about student/professor relationships being redeemed by marriage and children -- as if casual sex is a bad thing -- why is the endgame of healthy relationships always love, marriage, and babies??) Also, it's weird how I can experience physical sensations in dreams. Like the part in the dream where I thought "He has thin lips and his mouth is soft and weak." So weird. Kind of hot, too, but weird. Transference is a bitch.
Well, I wish I would have kept up with this blog more because then I could use it as part of my portfolio for a job at EMU...where I will be attending starting this fall! In the honors college! I'm excited.
I've decided to start a new blog (wordpress) specifically discussing issues and opportunities for nontraditional, first generation, adult, and transfer students. The process of transferring, and researching graduate schools, has made me realize there isn't enough information available for the many students with backgrounds like mine. And when there is relevant information, it's scattered throughout the InterWebz.
My time at JCC has been largely successful. Over time, I accumulated two excellence in learning awards, won first place in the only essay contest I ever participated in (btw, thank god for professors who actually tell people about these opportunities because the lack of websites/advertising is a fucking travesty that encourages favoritism and discrimination). I had great experiences with a number of professors who taught me so much. I nominated professors for faculty awards (though they have yet to win), and I thanked professors who helped me in various way. One professor helped me more than everyone else, and has served as an advisor/mentor/cheerleader, and a sounding board for my many thoughts and ramblings. Of course I've also had the joy of less desirable experiences: absentee professors, a highly lauded LL&A lunatic who lied to my entire class and who gave me the cold-shoulder in and outside of class, not to mention awkward experiences that still haunt me.
On the one hand, my obsessive interests/impulses make me the perfect candidate for academia, but on the other hand it makes it hard to let things go. To just...live life and not be burdened with guilt and/or regret or the idea that something can change when I'd really be better off forgetting about it.
I try not to get too hung up on it...at the end of the day everything bad that's happened has made for great learning experiences. Can I navigate the tricky waters of academia and personal and political bullshit that can make it so rough? Yes, I believe so.
So what's next for the Bad Student?
Well, soon I'll be quitting my job, finding a part time job -- hopefully doing something awesome (I have leads!), studying like a super scholar, hella blogging, participating in every progressive student organization I can, as well as the economics club and literature related organizations -- maybe starting a new group, and a new book club in Ypsilanti -- all while being thrifty and fabulous.
Goodbye JCC. It's been real.
