Getting Freaky in the Classroom.

The book club meeting was dreamy!  Lots of interesting discussion that led to more discussions.  And lucky for me, not only did I get to use what I learned in economics, I also discussed some authors we read in African American Lit, like Ida B. Wells-Barnett and Stokley Carmichael.  A member's roommate and apparent book club benefactor made theme color cupcakes and they were delicious!  So, not surprisingly, after discussing books and downing several bottles of wine we expanded our gathering to non members and hit the town.  Dedicating "blond headed slut" shots to reading was a good thing.  Of course, I was exhausted because I had been up since 5 AM and that was on three hours of sleep that severally affected my cognitive skills the entire day, so when I was in the bathroom of Bella Note's, complaining to a person I was with about how tired I was, another girl came out of the bathroom and said, "you know what will fix that?  Shots!"  And you know, she was right!  If I took every physics test drunk instead of sleep deprived I'd probably be a way better test taker, not only would I feel wide awake I wouldn't be anxious.  But, I don't see an experiment like that going particularly well so I probably won't try it especially since when I'm on campus I like to go to the library and although my brain may be at peak performance under the influence my body can't keep up, might fall down some stairs if I stressed it too much.  Oh well!  Also, every single time I've ever been in the bathroom at Bella Note's someone gives me advice or provides me with the answer to a question.  It's not my favorite hang out, that's for sure, but their bathroom could take the role of a church in my life, you know, when I need spiritual guidance. 

Anyway, the English major let us pick between the next book, it was either Lance Armstrong somethingorother or Born To Run.  Damnit, I forgot that the only thing worse than an English major is an English major athlete/fitness fiend.  So, we're going with Born to Run, and the meeting is in three weeks, and I am predicting at least one person will show up barefoot or wearing those feminine napkin looking things on their feet.   

Anyway,

something Freakonomics discusses is incentives, how they work, when they don't work, how they're not as good of motivation as common knowledge tends to think.  They discussed how incentives lead to cheating -- by teachers -- in standardized testing where incentives are attached.  They also discuss incentives for students and I thought it was pretty interesting, although to a well distinguished slacker like me a lot of it was common knowledge.  There are limits to what money will motivate a person to do.  So there's limits, and of course, sometimes people who got my grades weren't slackers like me but instead people with learning disabilities or anxiety issues (okay as a child and teenager I did have that and a weird ocd thing when I had to fill in bubble tests) or who have a whole other host of issues that aren't being addressed.  So, for the kids who are capable of doing the work and who don't need additional help, how does a teacher come up with an incentive program?

Well, Dan Pink has a few ideas of how to do this in business and I think it could just as easily be applied to schools:

He discusses extrinsic vs. intrinsic incentives, mastery, purpose, and autonomy vs. financial incentives. 

He argues that only mechanical tasks benefit from financial incentives where as they backfire when the task requires cognitive thinking skills. 

This is an animated video along similar lines, some of it he says in the first one, some of it he doesn't. 

Obviously, as far as teaching goes, this goes against the standardized testing incentive model for teachers and schools, and it goes against some of what is told to children to motivate them in school.  Because, even though Ken Robinson points out that college degrees are no longer guarantees, the narrative still is one about not flipping burgers for the rest of your life.  One author of Freakonomics, Steve Levitt, has an incredibly irritating video on youtube where he discusses "tricking" your workers into thinking what they're doing is important.  It's irritating to me because the reality is that workers ARE important and without them businesses couldn't operate.  But, I understand his point.  If you think you are important, if what you're doing is important, then that's a big incentive.  Almost everyone wants meaning and purpose in their life -- hell, how many young teen moms think that having a child is going to fulfill a purpose or give them someone to love them and someone for them to love.  Everyone seems to have some spiritual void that they need to fill up, be it with god or children or work or charity.  And that's OK.  Wanting meaning and purpose in life are wonderful things, so the trick I think, is to try and show students why what they're doing and why what they're learning matters.  There has to be SOME meaning to why you're reading Shakespeare and no one is going to believe that it is somehow going to get you a good career with good money and a 401k.

One way in which I think we could instill meaning into class work is by having students work on an external project where they apply what they've learned.  It could be tutoring younger students in the same area or working on something that will have some importance to them and others.  I think art classes have the right idea because so many art classes end in exhibitions, and that allows students to see the importance of their work OUTSIDE of the classroom.  Maybe science fairs are similar examples (not sure, my school never had them), but I'm thinking about something bigger -- something outside of school.  I wonder if there are any publications that public high schools collaborate on, such as a journal including the best student research or science fair projects and their results.  It would be cool if science fair winners were put into a journal, and perhaps schools could partner with research universities or scientists to put on some type of award ceremony/lectures about how relevant the research is to what they've gone on to do in their careers.  The same thing would be cool for math, writing, music (mix cds!), and whatever.  And maybe having students do research that would be used for something significant (like a local museum exhibition) would help provide their daily work with some meaning that acts as an incentive. I'm going to keep this idea in mind as I construct my fake online class.

. . . . But for now, I'm going to continue reading Claude McKay since I put him down to take a nap.  One day after courses end and I already feel so well rested.  Which is good because I'm going to need those cognitive thinking skills to solve my very own candle problem(s). 

new girl.

I think I really like my new co worker.  She's younger than me, in fact she's replacing me as the youngest person in the department (which doesn't matter to me but in the pink collar industry youth is everything and it is ruffling at least one person's feathers, IMO) and she's also a JCC student (my boss thought I'd like her for this very reason, though I wasn't so sure) who does online classes because she has been working full time since high school.  She's a business major who hates school so I didn't think we'd have much in common (although I'd hate school if I was a business major) but apparently she is a big reader and as soon as she heard me on the phone discussing the book club meeting she busted out her favorite book, so it would appear she reads and rereads and actually has decent taste.  (She's also a big fan of the Book Exchange.) Then, when another coworker invited me to a botox party (. . . . .) the conversation somehow turned into a discussion about rich wives who have their own reality shows and complain about having to sell off one of their houses, I've never seen the show, but I liked her take on the ridiculousness of it all.

She lamented the fact that all she does is work and then does school work and how her boyfriend complains about it all the time but how she wasn't going to quit for him.  I didn't have the heart to tell her that school will become The Other Man in your relationship and destroy you as a couple, so instead I just nodded and felt a strange comforting sensation that can only be described as "misery loves company."

Now, back to course evaluations!   

Ugh. 

1.  I have to call the school tomorrow and let whatsherface know that I can't attend the award ceremony.  I was preparing carrots when I started thinking about it.  Actually I was tasting one of the carrots because I about started crying and something about that meant that I couldn't swallow so there I am, choking on my carrot, contemplating why I was even starting to lose it in the first place.  And...I'm not sure why.  Normally I'd never go to something like that.  I never have.  But, I did promise myself I'd try and do things I wouldn't normally do plus, this time around, I don't know...it was a huge surprise to get it but I felt like I wanted it.  Like, it was something I actually deserved and was a course that I worked hard at.  Plus, it'd be nice to. . . I don't know.   Anyway, the whole experience of crying into carrots made me think of the book Like Water for Chocolate.  I found it when I was in middle school.  It was my mom's and she had it in a box in the garage.  I used to hide it between my mattresses thinking I was reading something bad, like a boy who finds his dad's porno mags or something.  Magical Realism is hot. 

Anyway, hopefully the Thank You card makes me seem like something other than an ungrateful jerk. 

2.  After work, late Friday night, I'm supposed to attend a BOOK CLUB MEETING.  Hurray!  Kind of.  Thursday will be my FINAL final exam and I'm going to be so busy Friday that I don't know how in the hell I'm going to find the time to make a delicious appetizer using caramelized onions.  Why must the carmelization process take so long!  Why must so many onions be chopped! Maybe I'll just buy cheeses.  One of the members is bringing wine they bought at a wine tasting at Bella Note's so I guess that would work.  

3.  Next week is all about getting back on track at work, digging myself out of this deep hole and being able to teach my new partner so she can be a fully functioning team member.  I have been working so hard while so many other people are taking days off left and right so I am going to be SHOCKED AND AWED if I don't get an awesome performance review. Then I'm going to get reading glasses and read the hell out of some books. 

4. I just posted my final discussion in African American Literature and I felt so...sad. Ugh, emotions, I could vomit all over myself.

5. My best friend's mom is in the hospital and it's not looking good so I sent her flowers this morning. It's hard to figure out what to write with so little characters, and to a woman I've only met twice even though I've been bff's with her daughter since the fourth grade. I wrote: Dear. Mrs. (BFF'sMom), I've been friends with your daughter for a long time, so although I've only met you twice I know that you must be a great mother because you raised a wonderful daughter. I hope you get well soon. Sincerely, TheCollegeDropout

I'm not good at figuring out how to say nice things in bad situations.

5.  My schedule for next semester is: Writing Experience II with K. Pursell, Creativing Writing II with M. Petry, and Business Law, with T. Benson.  I had this idea awhile ago that I'd try and start a writing group the same way I started my book club, nothing that involves sitting in a woods alone, but writing and reading and workshopping, that kind of thing -- and maybe public service projects.  But then I realized that I don't know anyone who is into that kind of stuff.  Or if they are, they are keeping it on the down low.  It started to stun me a bit when I thought about how I know where I can buy any number of drugs, could buy illegal weapons, and yet I don't know of people who are into writing???? Hell, I barely know people who are into READING. 

Looks like I'll have to move to Portland: 

My Northwest coast Uncle complained that independent bookstore owners were actually like that, and I said "Hey, I'm just jealous you actually have bookstores." For real.

Pick a Professor

Lots of ideas running through my head right now but my eyes are not cooperating.  I never thought I would be so excited for an eye exam.  Reread my english essay with slightly less stressed eyes this morning and I wanted to eat it just so I wouldn't have to see how bad it was.  I didn't even get to Baldwin and used minimal quotations, how dumb of me to think of writing that when I could have focused on fewer authors with my short time frame.  

/ bad student rant.  

[Back to ideas.]

One idea:  

While I've been trying to take an active role in selecting professors and classes that I think will be the most beneficial to my learning, I've been thinking about what a shitty system is going on with community college course selection.  If I look at four year university website I can find information on professors, basic bios, specialties, academic interests, but I can't find that at JCC.  When I first discovered ratemyprofessors.com I thought it would be a great way to get some information but soon I realized that they are so often personal and so rarely accurate, and if accurate they lack details that would make it in anyway helpful to me.  Sometimes there are professors that obviously have a good personality and that shows through, but I'm not necessarily looking for a good personality.  Most of the time I'd take a class with a major asshole if I thought it was going to benefit me more than taking a course with a nicer person. 

I realize I'm not looking for what every student is looking for.  Just this week I was discussing a course that a fellow student is thinking about taking it for her requirement in that area and she asked "Is it easy?" and she was hopeful that I'd say yes.  "Is it easy?" is not a question I would ask.  And I think that there are a lot of cases on ratemyprofessors.com where that's the only criteria being judged.  

On the other hand, had I read comments about my WORST ONLINE CLASS EVER I would have known that he never planned on doing any sort of teaching whatsoever.

Now, is that his pedagogical practice or him just being lazy and afraid of technology?  I have no idea, but with a bio page a student could find that out.

So I'm not suggesting just your standard "this is where I graduated, this is what I studied, this is what I wrote, and by the way I like to garden."  And I'm not suggesting rating oneself on "easiness" either.  Instead, I'd like to know about teaching styles.  It'd be nice if a professor could sum up their style if they have one, and they usually seem to.  If it's a totally on your own, totally self paced, no discussion, no collaboration, kind of a deal then it'd be nice to know up front.  There are people who love that sort of class and people who don't.  If it's a class that involves a lot of group work or a lot of participation that'd be nice to know, too.  If a professor likes to lecture a lot or wants you to learn through experimentation and research that would be sooo helpful in trying to find the right fit.   Unfortunately, if anything about this gets mentioned it's on the first day of class after a student has already signed up and after every other class is full.  (And the sample syllabuses have limitations). 

I know there is the much circulated idea of schools treating students like customers and how that's bad for education and going into this corporate model that will probably end up dumbing down classes and make us all stupid zombies who would like to eat brains except we can't remember where in the human body they are located.  

BUT

when there is nothing available to students to find someone that fits their unique needs (and yes, I believe students have them) they end up in classes with teachers that would be really great for someone else, but maybe not for them.  So maybe the student who isn't as easily engaged by a certain style complains about the class on a website and then another student posts and says they loved the class, and so we've learned absolutely nothing about the class or the professor's style.    The concept of what is or isn't easy is subjective and sometimes saying something is "difficult" is just saying that you found it difficult to stay awake. 

. . . I haven't fully formed this idea.  There are problems with it, I can tell.  I could argue that students need to move out of their comfort zone, but I think a lot of students do that when they enter courses they're weakest in, often as a general education requirement, but sometimes as an elective.

And, on top of discussing style, it would be nice to know what each professor's area of expertise is, what their specific interests are.  If I'm interested in a specific area of literature and I find that one professor happens to have the same interest or specialization then I see that as a reason to to try and take the course with that professor.  In college we're adults, we should have general education requirements, but we're making decisions about our majors and our careers, so why not try and find a professor that you could learn best from?  Or someone you could ask questions regarding something you are particularly interested in? 

I have another idea in my head about this, I feel like it's trying to come to the surface but I can't quite bring it to birth.  Let's see . . . there is something to be said about the way a student views a community college vs. a four year university.  The community college is disrespected and if you are a student you may find yourself thinking less of yourself because of your own or others or even a perceive disrespect of the college (this is another entry all together).  But in a college where teaching is favored over research it would sure be nice to know a little more about that teaching the same way four year university students have access to their professor's published titles and areas of special interest.  There is something that feels less second class student about having more information.  At least to me.  I'll have to run this by my people.  

Martha Infante

Video streaming by Ustream
Thanks to An Urban Teacher's blog I found this video featuring some interesting commentary from Martha Infante on her South Central LA school 39:54 minutes into the video.  She talks about how important it is to have veteran teachers, how much progress her school made, and how that was dismantled by budget cuts. 

Things I've learned from watching Fox News.

1.  Make strong declarative statements!

2.  Don't become bigger than what you represent because if you do you'll end up like Glenn Beck, too big a star for your own good!

3.  Never show indecisiveness or weakness.  As long as you master those two qualities you can say whatever you want. 

4.  I've learned that if I am ever invited to a gathering of upper middle class liberal intellectuals I should talk about wine.  In fact, I'm going to repeat the entire monologue about Madeira wine that NPR exec Ron Schiller gave in those secret recordings made by that conservative James O'Keefe kid (who kind of looks like a praying mantis).

5.  Democrats are their own worst enemies.  Meaning, don't act like one.

6.  Fox News is worthy of study.

African American Literature: after(almost) thoughts

Having very nearly completed African American Literature with Dr. Thomas I have been left with a better understanding of not only the literature we studied but also the role that African American Literature should have in the classroom. 

I suppose partly why I enjoyed African American Literature so much is because many of the authors believe what I believe about art, that it is not simply for art's sake.  In fact, I'm pretty convinced that if the world was a peaceful place without injustice or poverty I'd spend the rest of my days running my own restaurant, serving my favorite foods, and offering artichokes as an alternative to side salads.  Yes, that is a life that lives in the back of my mind but it is not one that I will ever know, nor could I stand it in the world that we reside in.  If everything was right in the world I'm afraid I would probably read pop fiction and maybe even begin to develop a taste for romantic comedies (blech), but, I mean, without the world as it is, would there be anything other than pop fiction and romantic comedies?  In a perfect world would or could art ever fullfill me more than a beautifully presented artichoke?  No.  No!

Secondly, I must admit that I have a sort of disdain for many English majors, it is true, and even when I realize I shouldn't I still do.  There is a sort of arrogance among a number of English lit majors (which I realize may also be partly attributed to age because I am speaking of people in their twenties) who believe that all great literature was written in English.  When my sister was majoring in English she complained that an English professor was teaching "too much" Black literature in American lit class.  "This ISN'T African American Literature class" she said, as if that is the only place where African American literature belongs.  We quarreled as we always have.  I have known a number of lit majors with similar views and many who overlook African American literature and a whole hell of a lot of other books to rush and proclaim that Hemingway or Tolstoy (not English, but still) is the best novelist in human history.  And to that I can only say, how many novelists have you actually read?  I mean, nothing against Tolstoy, but really, there's a WHOLE WORLD OUT THERE! and they were very young and inexperienced.  I suppose English majors really got under my skin because I, too, loved literature and to me they were mutilating it.  It was like a man taking a woman and cutting out her breasts and replacing them with implants, sucking out her fat, dying her hair, and painting her lips, cutting her tongue and gouging out her eyes, and then saying, "Look at her: Women Are Beautiful."  But that is not a woman!  That is a Frankenstein!  That is a part of a woman, terribly distorted into a monstrosity of patriarchal creation.  That is what literature is without international voices and without African American voices.  And American literature without African American voices is a disfigured version of our literary history.

So, I have struggled with when and where African American literature should be taught.  I mean, it should be taught EVERYWHERE.  Where women literature is involved African American women should be doing a huge portion of the speaking.  Where American literature is concerned, well, I have already stated my opinion on that.  African American literature, some would argue, shouldn't even exist because African American literature IS American literature and so, why the separation?  And to that I would say my African American Literature class has helped show me why.  Although African American lit should be incorporated in all areas of American literature I now FIRMLY BELIEVE that African American literature should be a FOUNDATIONAL course for all students in The United States of America.   

To explain why I believe this I must discuss my previous experience in literature courses that briefly touched on African American authors.  I have had several of those and they have often involved disgusting and depressing discussions where students completely misunderstand the author's intention or where they look down on the author and reject the anger of an African American author as unwarranted. 

For example, in Professor Agy's Short Story and Novel course we read many different authors of different time periods.  She was a good teacher who tried to provide a historical background for each story.  However, clicking on a link about Emmit Till and the civil rights era did not provide the context that students needed.  I believe students read this and still believed that racism, especially violent racism, were merely isolated acts in small pockets of Southern communities. 

I believe this because of the responses to two authors the students developed.  In those posts we were to discuss James Baldwin's autobiographical notes and Zora Neale Hurston's "How it Feels to be Colored Me."  Baldwin's notes, although a far cry from the most radical and confrontational literature to emerge from the African American community, was still too confrontational, too angry.  Too angry.  Angry. ANGER.  That was the word I remember being repeated.  Almost everyone, it seemed, had a problem with his anger, as if his fist had risen from the pages and punched them in the face.  And I suppose it had. 

Hurston, on the other hand, was easier to swallow mainly because I think she is easy to misread.  I interpret much of her early attitudes towards racism to be a result of her having grown up in an isolated and all Black community where her identity was not continually degraded by Whites.  I also believe that her own disinterest in the actions of Whites and her embrace of her heritage is mistaken for some sort of absolution for white supremacy.  Reading, or misreading, Hurston's essay becomes a cathartic experience for the readers who were left feeling rattled by Baldwin.  Anger, we are often told, is one of those unacceptable emotions.  There are drugs for people who feel too much anger.  Anger is not civilized.  It is not appropriate!  It has no place in the classroom, certainly, that is something we've been taught since we were children.  Anger is not justified unless, I suppose, the dominant authority says it's justified.  It's justified when your anger is directed at another country, competing with us or attacking us, or it's justified when directed at a pedophile or rapist -- you know, someone who we are allowed to be angry with.  James Baldwin was a black man and he was angry with the dominant culture of white supremacy.  Although the autobiographical notes we read did not state this, he was also a gay man who was also angry with racists in the gay community.  He was a man who was fully entitled to all the righteous anger he could muster.  But!!!! Make no mistake, he was an artist who reached out to the reader and explored the human condition, he was not the angriest nor most radical of African American authors or activists.  But for my classmates he was still TOO ANGRY. He simply didn't deserve to be that angry.

So, I suppose that for students who lacked a foundational understanding of African American history or literature Baldwin's relatively mild criticism was a punch in the face. 

So, I wasn't sure what would happen with African American literature.  I wondered, would I spend the entire semester rehashing the same arguments that occurred in Short Story and Novel, World Literature, or Poetry and Drama? And and-and-and-and! it wasn't like that at all!  Yes, on the one hand people who came to the class did so knowing what they were getting into but it is still taken by people only wanting credits for their associates degrees, and there are still students who don't care enough to do their own work, so, not everyone -- if even anyone -- entered wanting to be African American lit scholars.  And although there were many times where I disagreed with many students I did see a much more thoughtful discussion occurring, I did see people opening to ideas.  And so far, one of the final discussion projects I've read is about a student's new understanding of Malcolm X.

This students prior beliefs surrounding Malcolm X are similar to almost every white student I've ever known who receive the same sort of Malcolm vs. Martin education that I received (the one where Malcolm always comes out looking like an enemy).  I actually once thought that this was specific only to white American schools but once, when I was watching a BBC program on educational reform, there was a teacher in the background presenting the Malcolm vs. Martin argument in almost the exact same context that I received it in my overtly racist school.  (How naive of me not to realize that even European nations aren't getting it right.) 

I believe that these new understandings were only reached because of the way in which we focused EXCLUSIVELY on African American literature and history.  By tracing the initial works to it's modern conclusion students are better able to understand, to interpret, and to empathize with African American authors that they would otherwise reject as too angry or discard as hate filled, failing to examine the source of anger.  The literature was extremely powerful and even more so when coupled with history.  The portions on lynchings were given more gravity by the use of some very disturbing images in which, what seems like, entire TOWNS joined together to MURDER African Americans, and then posed for the most surreal and disturbing photos I've ever seen.  When these acts were committed by police, judges, and politicians, it should be obvious that white supremacy trumped any loyalty to our nations laws. 

And so, in my experience, it is impossible to engage in productive or remotely accurate discussions regarding African American literature or real world issues, such as, the teaching of Black Vernacular in schools, the drug war, the police, the inner city, civil rights, social assistance, historically Black colleges, or equal opportunity employment with a person who has no foundational understanding of African American history.  Without that understanding these sort of conversations quickly become dead end dialogues blocked by racist assumptions and stereotypes.    

But, when African American literature is given center stage a deeper understanding can occur and meaningful discussion can follow.  If students, all students seeking a degree, were required to take African American Literature (and PLEASE take it before you take another lit class where your ignorance is going to be a roadblock) I believe that racism could and would decline in this nation.  But for now, racism festers and spreads throughout white communities where many view history within the time frame of their own life and who also view that history through the very narrow window that is their own life experience.  And make no mistake, this tumor resides among conservatives AND liberals. 

Even if a student is not seeking a traditional degree they should be required to take African American literature because many of these students will seek certification in a field where they will eventually come into contact with African American coworkers and customers.  Plenty of companies in the future will settle expensive lawsuits as a result of their own racism, whether that racism is intentional or not.  I do believe that there are people who truly do not know why what they say or do is so offensive and upsetting but if they took African American literature they would develop an understanding.  So, whether a student is seeking a traditional degree or career training anyone can benefit from a course like the class I took.  While many colleges increase their focus on job readiness, to ignore African American literature simply because it is a part of the liberal arts program would be missing the tremendous value it can bring to a workplace, any workplace, where racism can lead to hostile work environments and potential payouts in the millions.

For me, this course has changed my interest in literature, it has focused my attention to African American literature in a way that it had not been focused before.  Yes, I have read some African American literature in the past and modern antiracists like Cornel West and Damali Ayo but this sharpened my interest in not just the activism and nonfiction, but also the narrative fiction, plays, and even poetry.  And there is still so much more to learn.   

bad student habits.

Sometimes, when I'm at work, I linger by the window.  I imagine backing up, running, jumping and soaring through the glass.  Sometimes I fly.  Other times I plummet down but I always land on a conveniently parked dump truck that breaks my fall, and then I'm out of there.

Last summer I'd get up at five in the morning to go to the gym with my sister.  But that was when she was separated from her husband and I'm pretty sure she was going that early to spy on him.  Now she's just unreliable.  So I've been sleeping in, but I managed to pull my ass out of bed to work out because I figured it'd help work the demons out of me.  The demons being all my awful impulses.  I guess I should have worked out longer.

I was getting excited remembering the last time I had an EPIC cousin bash.  But then I remembered that if my cousin's boyfriend is there it'll probably end up as a more mellow dinner party.  He's my age and his boyfriend is approaching 50.  He's a respectable and responsible member of the adult community so those gatherings are a little more. . . tame.  I wonder if I should invite my loser uncle's baby mamma.  She's only a year older than me and she was always kind of weird around me and my male cousin, like, awkward and out of place.  She always favored our younger cousins who had children.  I tried to make her feel welcome but it was hard.  It's always hard to warm up to someone when you know that soon they're going to be history.  Yeah, he always invites women over to family functions -- even women who should just be flings, which, I guess they all should be -- and so they think that they're special, but they're not.  Eventually he'll cheat on them and rip them off or he'll hit them and they'll file a PPO against him.  So, I liked her but I didn't want to like her, but I tried to be nice, but not too nice.  I'd hate to be too warm and too kind and have someone stay with him because they are enamored with his obviously lovable family.  And, damnit, she was the only girlfriend of his that could cook!

Speaking of nonnuclear families, I'm interested in different representations of families in schools and the way teachers handle the nonnuclear family, meaning the same sex family, or the divorced family, or the divorced and remarried family, or the single parent family, or the grandparents raising children family, or anything that isn't one dad and one mom who are married to each other. (Remember to come back to this.)

 

I added another goal to my list of things to do while on break: organize my purse.  Mainly because I hate it when someone sees me looking for something in my purse and decides they can find it faster.  Taking away my purse said person mocks me and my cluttered ways.  I say, "give it here, you don't know how to look for anything!"  Because they don't.  And said person begins to pull my stuff out of the purse, dropping the contents all over the place.  Today, it was a folded up post it note that I had written on.  I said, "You're dropping my important words!"  That caused just enough laughter so that I was able to yank the purse away and find my stuffed monkey key chain without taking all the shit out of it.  Organized people blow my mind.  How can they do it?  How can they stand it?  Sometimes I look at three ring binders and folder tabs and I want to cry.  I hate to feel confined. 

So:

1.  Workout.

2.  Organize Purse.

3.  Read McKay poetry, Cane, Savage City (nonfiction), Houellebecq's The Elementary Particles, more to be determined.

4.  Write Claude McKay paper.

5.  Write my own crap and do all that crap.  Crap. crap. crap.

6.  decide on fake class content.

7.  Try to become a nice person and good citizen.  Which means, in the summer, while walking downtown on lunch or for whatever reason, DO NOT tell yuppie strangers in SUV's who ask for directions "I'm not from around here" like I did all last summer.  Also, try to figure out how to actually give directions. 

8.  Return to important work. 

I've been preparing for Creative Writing class. . . I've been writing poems which I don't normally do.  I am writing a poem about librarians and their skinny thighs and libraries.  How I hate them!  How I love them!  How their silence murders my soul.  Because it does.  I hate silence and what worse place to have silence than in a public library.  The librarians I know have such short wave lengths of joy.  It's like they keep their light contained in tiny bubbles, space bubbles maybe -- like my middle school art teacher would call them as she'd waive her arms around her and tell us not to get into anyone else's space bubble.  But that isn't me.  I have no space bubble, and I'm loud, and I'm obnoxious, and all I want to do is take a pin and pop everyone's space bubbles.  How can someone keep joy or passion so quietly contained?  What a travesty.  What a betrayal!

So, basically I have been writing bad poetry.  But sometimes I read poetry of people who are like, I don't know, maybe not good but good enough to graduate from an MFA program and call themselves poets.  And so then I read that poetry and I don't feel so bad about my bad poetry anymore.  Is that an asshole thing to say?  I have such a hard time telling. . .

I've read some playbooks.  The "best of short plays" I read sucked.  Some of the full length plays are okay and they were helpful in showing me how one can write plays.  I think I figured out what I'm going to do.

I had an opportunity to move to a window at work but I declined.  It'd be too hard to focus on what's going on inside when I can see all that there is outside.   

This makes me so angry.

I've been following this case but every time I try to write about it I get so angry and can't finish my thoughts.  
So, I'm just going to copy a huge quote from NCCPR Child Welfare Blog:
And it's pretty relevant to education because while we consider what reforms to make and what tests to take students are having their families and home lives fractured as a result of overzealous psychiatry and a far reaching social services and foster care system that disproportionately affects People of Color and the poor.  How can serious education reformers not talk about this??!  


From the blog's April 18th entry:

Foster care in Michigan: Well what do you know? Maryanne Godboldo’s daughter doesn’t need drugs after all

But Michigan still is 

institutionalizing her anyway

Remember how workers for the Michigan Department of Human Services were so sure that Marianne Godboldo’s daughter absolutely, positively had to be on powerful psychiatric medications that they rushed into court to get an order to tear the child from her mother, by force, if necessary?

Remember how they did that without giving Godboldo a chance to respond?   (It must have been do urgent to get the child on those drugs that there just not enough time.)

Remember how they went to Godboldo’s home and, when she would not surrender her child, called in the police, complete with SWAT team and a tank to force her to give up her child?  Remember how, faced with that armed force outside, Godboldo allegedly fired one shot?

Remember all that?

It must have been really, really urgent that the child get those drugs right away.

Apparently not.

Because now, 25 days after Godboldo’s daughter was institutionalized, she is, not, in fact, back on the meds.  DHS told the court that there is no immediate need for it at this time.

So of course, having realized their mistake, the DHS workers asked the court immediately to return the child to her mother – right?

Yeah, right.

It only works that way for affluent white children like Leo Ratte, the child who was returned home after 48 hours in the Mike’s Hard Lemonade case.  It only works that way for families who can bring top legal talent to bear immediately and win instant sympathy from media – because they are the kind of people lawyers and reporters identify with immediately.  I don’t see any high-powered lawyers volunteering to help Godboldo’s legal team.  And I don’t see the Michigan ACLU rushing to help Godboldo, they way they’re helping the Rattes, by filing a civil suit which that family, to its credit, is using to try to help all Michigan families.

It doesn’t work that way for low income Black children.  Maryanne Godboldo remains institutionalized.  There won’t even be another hearing in the case until April 22.  By then Godboldo’s daughter will have been taken from her mother for 29 days, 14.5 times longer than Leo Ratte.

it continues here. . . .

This isn't makeup, this is war paint!

HOLY TRANSPHOBIA!

WOW.  There's been some seriously ridiculous responses ever since J Crew President posed in some photos with her son, who happens to be wearing pink nail polish.

And by WOW I mean, who would have thought a clothing store as boring and vanilla as J. Crew could stir up so much controversy? 

But as usual, no one can put the controversy into perspective like Jon Stewart:

The Daily Show
Tags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

Sometimes I really start thinking these types of things are pretty much nonissues.  I guess it's the fact that as an adult I avoid surrounding myself with assholes. 

Of course, the outrage isn't just a reflection of transphobia but also sexism.  It is the idea of bending traditional gender norms that bothers people.  It was bad enough when women wanted to join the work place and wear slacks but men, being anything like a w-w-w-w-WOMAN?  Yes, liberating men will be just as painful as liberating women was and continues to be.

In the immortal words of Madonna,um, who sampled them from The Cement Garden (a book and movie, apparently): "Girls can wear jeans, cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots, because it's okay to be a boy.  But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading, because you think that being a girl is degrading.  But secretly, you'd love to know what it's like, wouldn't you -- what it feels like for a girl?" 

And yeah, I have no doubt that some of these foaming at the mouth men secretly squeeze their asses into their wife's lingerie when wifey's out at the market.

It's okay!  You don't have to be ashamed!

But you are.

And if you're going to be an asshole about your own insecurities then I have no sympathy for you when the truth comes out and your lace covered ass hits the headlines.

So I guess if I'd have to sum up my policy on early childhood education it'd be something like. . .

Let the child be!

Let them be curious.  Let them learn.  Let them break shit (not each other).  Let them win.  Let them lose.  Let them cry.  Let them play!

That may not be totally realistic right now. . .

And not that it matters because I have NO interest in teaching little children, but sometimes . . .  sometimes I am truly disturbed by some teachers who want so badly to fit little round pegs into square holes.

I do remember my school's policy against boys with nail polish or makeup.  Which would be fine with me if it was banned for girls too, and maybe it should be, but that wasn't the case.

But I owe a lot to fabulous gender benders.  RuPaul was my first feminist influence.  It was "Supermodel" that did it.  Yeah, an ode to supermodels doesn't immediately sound like a feminist anthem, but as a first grader all I got out of it was about having positive self esteem, being fierce, and going for your dreams.  I would dance to it endlessly and was forever grateful for my mom's coworker who used to make me some typically gay mix tapes featuring the B-52's, Nancy Sinatra, RuPaul, The Village People, Madonna, and many more. 

Eventually I'd move on to better feminist thinkers.  And eventually I'd quit wearing all makeup because I realized I was doing it out of some unexamined habit.  But RuPaul showed me that makeup can be used in a revolutionary way.

And so. . .  I felt OK about buying a bunch of makeup this week.  Yeah, nail polish, lipstick, the works.  I really hate lipstick and I might not use it but it's all an attempt to get the best performance review I can.  I figure I spend so much time at work that I should use my positive reviews in my college application.  The only thing is that new upper management has changed the reviews, what was once exceeding expectations now just meets. So if I get a just OK review showing it to a college will make it look like I've been slipping since my previous reviews were all exceeding expectations.  I've noticed that my boss would probably appreciate it if I wore high heels, painted my nails, and wore makeup.  Makeup always seems to be more appreciated by straight women.  Weird.  So, basically it's like putting a shinny coat of paint over the mask I already wear.  This is not revolutionary, merely utility.  As for heels go. . . I do have some, but it's not warm enough for sandal styles and I don't think my boss would appreciate light up platform heels.  Even though they are awesome!

I really hope that I'll live and teach long enough to tell a male student, "read the student handbook because your skirt is an inch too short!!!!"

Academic-ish things I don't understand.

Eh.

I'm reconsidering my schedule for the Spring semester.

Maybe it's just my mood.

I managed to collect four hours of sleep and woke up with a massive headache.  I thought googling topless photos of Helen Mirren would put me in a good mood but my menstrual cramps ruined any enjoyment I was going to get out of that.  But hey, Helen Mirren, who knew?

So I'm reconsidering my creative writing class but I always feel a certain apprehension before entering into any situation that claims to be "creative." Not all classes are run this way but enough are that I get nervous thinking about them.

Things I'd like to understand about "creative writing" and art in general:  

1.  Is writer's block real?  What, exactly, is it?  Where do you get it?  And why do people feel that this is a problem?  How can I get it? 

2.  Without schools sponsoring the use of psychedelic drugs, do people actually get anything out of sitting alone in the woods, or wherever, and recharging their creative spirit, or reaching out to them, or whatever it is people do when they talk about finding their creativity -- as if it's a distant relative that you lost track of.

3.  Why do teachers assign these strange "artist dates"? 

4.  Why do teacher's use writing prompts in creative writing?

5.  Does anyone actually find them helpful? 

6.  Why do people talk about "creativity" needing to be "retrieved."  As if it's not something that's a part of them all the time?  Or like it's a well that gets drained.  Is this how people really feel?  Why?  I do not understand this concept.

7.  Why do some teachers implement creativity propaganda and spiritual lessons as if this was a Christian conversion or a 12 step program.  Like, is it really that difficult to write or paint or to want to do any of those things?  I mean, I understand rewriting and revising and gaining perspective after you've written something, but is it really so difficult to start?  I don't understand why writing a story is treated like having to show up to work at a sewage filtration plant or something.   

8.  Am I going to be very unpopular if I tell people that Julia Cameron and The Artist's Way seems to be some weird cult to me, and instead of helping me these lessons may give me accidental bulimia because they make me want to puke.  Or maybe fall asleep.  And I had to edit a massive amount of snark out of this statement. 

9.  Does this mean I shouldn't take creative writing classes?


* * *

Of course, my headache is making me want to eat small children so I shouldn't make any decisions now, especially not out of fear.  My future creative writing teacher did instruct me for a week or two when I was in the fifth grade and as I recall I mostly got to wander around on my own and socialize.  AND she did co author a hypertext fiction piece.  Unfortunately, after much searching the interwebs, I cannot find any version of it online.   But when life makes a dead end, I make a door.  Zing!

literary aesthetic for the visually impaired

After reviewing the sample syllabus for my spring creative writing course (one that demands writing be a pleasure for sight, sound, and . . . taste, was it?) I've been thinking about literature for the visually impaired, and by visually impaired I do mean legally blind.

Growing up with an Uncle who lost his sight as a premature infant I always had a hard time knowing how to entertain him.  He was entertaining, when engaged, he always had a sense of humor of someone much younger, or the ability to show it -- I guess -- when every other grown up was so obsessed with the identity of grown ups.  But on days when he stayed at our house while he was in town I remember not knowing what to do for him.  I knew he "watched" television but so much of what goes on in a movie or tv show is lost if you can't see it.  He listened to music.  I never saw him read, although I knew he could read braille.  Mostly I just tried to keep him fed and fill the cd player with popular alt rock bands of the 90's, being that it was the 90's.  

As I  grew older I came to see some of the injustices he endured because his lack of sight made him particularly vulnerable.  It is amazing what people can do to other people when no one is looking, when they think they can get away with it.  The blind live in a world that caters towards the sighted.  Art, as subversive as it can be, as freeing and inclusive it can be, can also exclude and overlook. 

So, what I've been thinking about lately is how so much of writing requires readers to experience emotions and understandings by using images, often very specific images, things that would be much more subjective if you had to conjure them from your own imagination.  I wonder what it would be like to write something using no visual aids but instead emphasizing touch, smell, taste.  Measuring physical distance not by sight but by time, or by footsteps.  Are there books like that?  Poems?  I never really thought of it much before but recently it's been on my mind.  I need to do some research. 

Of course the visually impaired student should read the classics and the same books other students read, but I wonder what it's like to read a book knowing so much of the prose is lost in the translation. And what would it be like for a sighted writer to write without sight?  What possibilities would open up for both the sighted and those who are not? 

I think that for my creative writing class I'll use one of the free write journaling assignments we'll have to try and create something that relies on a reader's senses but not the sense of sight.  Sight, after all, can be one of the weakest senses despite how much we use it.  It can trick us.  It can't tell us everything.  A piece of raw fish on a bed of rice may LOOK fresh but it's the smell that'll really let you know.  Looks never mattered much when it comes to good and evil, in many classic stories it often does, but in real life it doesn't matter a bit.  If you're better trained in your other senses you may look at a face and see the truth but in the voice you may hear a lie.

I mean, I definitely don't think a sighted person, or a person who is sighted for much of their life, can create this literary aesthetic but it would I think that a sighted person could write for a blind person in mind.  If I was in love with someone who was blind and I wanted to write them a love poem (not that I would actually do such a thing) I would want to express something without using images.  I'd want to use something that I knew we both could understand, that we could both share. 

I wonder.  .  .    I wonder.

A dropout's Do's and Dont's of Distance Learning.

I recently read an article about high school kids having to take a distance learning course before graduating.  I'm not sure how this is supposed to be helpful since every class I've ever had presents its own unique challenges based not only on the teacher's style but also the format of the class and where information is scattered throughout the website.  But, I figure, distance learning is the future so I ought to give it some thought.  I hear from every teacher that nothing prepares you for teaching like being in the classroom.  Well, I've been a student in a classroom for long enough to develop fine lines in my forehead so I think I should consider what I've learned.  

The Chronicle spends a lot of time discussing Distance Learning.  These are the articles I try to skim but usually just close because, honestly, nothing sounds more boring or like a bigger waste of time than a professor telling me whether or not I learn well online.

Generally, I've considered distance learning a necessary evil.   I believe in them because they allow me to take classes I could never take otherwise.  And by "distance learning" I mean the kind of online courses offered by public schools, specifically JCC, but definitely not a for profit college because I wouldn't touch a for profit college with a ten foot pole. 

I'm certainly not anti technology.  When I was a teenager my love of web design and instant messenger caused me to meet a brilliant gorgeous lesbian techie from a town over who happened to be reading the same book I was and who would keep my interest in computers alive for quite some time.  In later years my interest turned more towards programming.

So, I'm not afraid of computers, but there are limitations.  By examining my worst classes and my best I think I can up with a model that works better than most of the courses I've seen.  

One of the biggest problems I have with distance learning is how difficult it is to sustain a dialogue.  The fact is, every time I ask a question the answer will probably cause me to ask another question.  This becomes very difficult if you're relying on forum postings.  And in a more difficult course I can become very discouraged.  Basically, it's like trying to talk with a ball gag in your mouth.  Things get lost in translation and what's the point?  Surrender, resistance is futile.      

The Worst

The worst distance learning course I ever took at JCC was more than five years ago and maaaaan DISTANCE was the right word for it.  It consisted of a professor uploading a syllabus that told students what chapters to read, what dates the TWO tests were on, and what books to buy.  One of the books was an expensive study guide but the only reason why it was necessary is because, in addition to the two exams, we were assigned very short simple essays.  However, the questions we had to answer were in the study guide.  I'm talking a total of four questions.  Not enough text to take up a page in that book.  So I was spending a ton of money on something that I could have easily gotten for free had the professor decided just to assign the topics like most professors would.  And I didn't need the study guide because the multiple choice exam was OPEN BOOK WITH NOTES.  So, an easy A.

There were no discussions, not even introductions, there was absolutely nothing except for list of chapters and test dates. 

This was an elective class so I took it to actually learn something.  Plus, online classes cost more money than in person classes but what I was getting I could have gotten from the library for free. 

What really bothered me was that I knew people who had this professor in person and they described some of the fun activities they did, or the wild discussions, and this professor wasn't doing any of that for us. 

For some foolish reason I later took another course with this professor, mainly because I really wanted the course, and it was ran the exact same way.  That was my bad. 

The Middle of the Road

The middle of the road courses involve discussions, typically required participation in forum postings.  Once upon a time someone told me that they preferred online literature courses because he didn't have to look at a student who hadn't read the material, silent and expressionless.  It's true, if you're looking for a more democratic classroom or a classroom where you can be sure everyone participates then online learning is for you.  There is definitely a lot of value in these discussions but they still leave something to be desired.  If you're looking to get by in a class then you won't mind this so much, but if you're really interested in the subject matter you will be endlessly frustrated. 

The Best

One of the best courses I've ever had was, shockingly enough, a math class.  I had taken a math course with the same professor years ago and it wasn't great.  But I have to hand it to the math department, they've been rocking their shit because now they're utilizing youtube and Scribid.   Now, I know lecturing isn't very popular right now.  The whole idea of a professor pontificating and a student passively receiving the information may leave something to be desired.  But I want a lecture!  I miss them!  Okay, if you speak in a monotone voice and you're utterly bored with what you're teaching PLEASE DON'T LECTURE!!!!  But if you're passionate about what you teach then give a passionate lecture once in awhile!  Passion is infectious!  It's engaging!  People are drawn to passion like a moth to a flame.  Ok, so you'll probably never see anything like The Dead Poet's Society, but somewhere out there will be a student who was nodding off, suddenly opening his or her ears and an open mind will follow.

So, while I didn't see math teachers standing on desks and panting about logarithms they did use some of this technology to lecture and explain problems.  Professor Jody Rooney would put on an in person study group before each exam but then also do one online for anyone who couldn't make it.  She used Scribid and we were either supposed to ask questions via microphone or through a chat feature.  It was EXTREMELY helpful.

Another model that I enjoyed was Professor D. Agy's Short Story and Novel course.  Like Rooney, she utilized different forms of technology to maximum advantage.  We were required to check out certain websites to give us background information on literature (racism at the time the author wrote a story, anxiety around WWII, etc.) and she always provided the links under the threat of "I can tell whether or not you click on them!!" so you can be sure I was clicking on them.  She also did mini lectures through powerpoint and she used voice recordings.  Of course we had our normal discussion posts, though I would say that the topics didn't generate much discussion because of what we were required to do, but more on that in a future entry. 

The other thing she did that I really liked was that she required us to engage in chatroom chats with a maximum of three students for a minimum of 30 minutes.  Of course, they always went over because there was so much to cover.  It was an interesting approach that I hadn't seen before because most classes require you to work individually.  I usually like individual work, there's nothing more annoying than being tied to a group that's bringing you down, but I liked what she was trying to do.  And sometimes I learned something and considered something I wouldn't have on my own and I wouldn't have considered had we not been able to discuss it in a way that people do when they are actually having a conversation. 

I've seen other classes come close to these models, attempting to enhance learning by adding visuals and background information along with text and I like that but I don't think they do it nearly enough.

To me, the best online course would be one that includes audio and visual learning.  Not only reading, but also using pictures when appropriate.  It would involve a chat feature between students but even occasionally with a professor where students ask to have something elaborated on.  This could be before tests or at the end of a chapter.  It could be just once or twice a semester, still it'd be something.   

A Dropout's Vision:

Thinking about this has inspired me to make a model for a class.  I know, I know, I know, high school teachers don't actually get that much freedom in what or how they teach, I have been told this by frustrated and former teachers but for this exercise I am going to pretend that anything is possible.  I am going to make an EPIC online class.  What am I going to do with it?  Who the hell knows. Maybe I'll find a way to present it in the portfolio that I send out to colleges (whether or not that ends up in the trash is another story) or maybe it'll give me some ideas for what I am going to propose to a professor in the fall all in an attempt to get a letter of recommendation because. . . while learning is it's own reward I have to keep my eye on the bottom line.

So, to be continued.  .  .

A REAL letter to JCC.

Well, I thought I'd write my final discussion topic on WEB Du Bois for African American Literature but now I am leaning towards Ida B Wells-Barnett.  I have to admit, I'm actually a little nervous sending this letter especially since transcripts and official records get sent from the school straight to the university that I so desperately want to attend but injustice is injustice is injustice and I cannot be a good student or a good teacher without being a good person and citizen.  

Dear Jackson Community College,

I was recently notified that I would be receiving a Recognition in Learning Award which I was very excited to hear.  Overall, I've had a great experience at Jackson Community College and the professors are overwhelmingly wonderful teachers who are obviously dedicated to helping their students, and who would not tolerate harassment and discrimination in their classroom.  That is why it deeply saddens me to be sending both a "thank you" card and a letter of complaint. 

I am deeply disturbed over the news concerning the lawsuit against JCC.  I understand that this occurred shortly after the Arizona shooting.  I also understand that JCC is in an impossible situation where acting too quickly means overreacting and failing to act -- should something happen -- means the public blames you.  But in my opinion, what happened to Michael Oliver is shameful from beginning to end.  

First, I want to address a comment that was made by a JCC instructor which, according the paper, was a confirmed comment.  As a white person who grew up in a surrounding rural community, I can tell you that Francis Street is most definitely code word for "Black."  Any comment I ever heard about Francis Street growing up was derogatory and based on it being a predominately Black and poor area of Jackson.  I also understand that if you grow up hearing said comments you may accept those statements without question.  Now that I actually live near Francis Street, I have walked the street and even used the city bus stop to go to JCC.  I find that it is a street, like any other street, minus swimming pools and predominately white faces.  Is it full of "bad, bad people."  Absolutely not!  Is there crime?  Yes -- show me a street that is free of crime and I will pull open a stained glass door to reveal the worst crime that occurs behind closed doors on EVERY and ANY street.  Racism aside, I do not believe it would be appropriate for a professor to denigrate any area which your students could possibly live in.  I do not believe there is any place for derogatory comments about Francis Street in a government subsidized classroom. This is not only illegal but also a violation of your own policies explained in the document "Student Rights and Responsibilities Code of Conduct."

Secondly, when I was a child I remember my sister, my brother, and I playing with a piece of rope and I tied it into a noose and gave it to my annoying little brother.  My father immediately made me untie it, scolded me, and stressed how dangerous it could be.  It was not something I would repeat.  So when I read of the news of the lawsuit against JCC I was a little shocked over details that claim adult students would consistently tie their ropes into nooses.  I would think that insurance concerns alone would make this a punishable offense.  Then, to read that a noose was placed on a Black students desk is HORRIFYING.  If there was ever anyone who should be taken in for a mental evaluation, suffer through the humiliation of handcuffing and a strip search, it is the disturbed individual who would use the threat of lynching against a Black man.     

But take heart, because I can say that I am righteously disgusted over this not in spite of you, JCC, but BECAUSE of you.  I have had multiple amazing professors here who have taught my white ass all about the history of racism and oppression in our nation.  So my suggestion to take the proper action necessary to keep this from ever happening again is to do what you do best: EDUCATE. 

If a student or professor lets these things fly make them attend some of the courses I have.  Currently, I'm enrolled in African American Literature and while I considered myself generally well versed in American racism it has completely opened my eyes to the history of lynching.  Anyone who could find these students actions "childish" or harmless would do a 180 if they studied the literary works of the courageous Ida B. Wells-Barnett or if they viewed the horrific photos of lynchings that once circulated as postcards amongst your Average Joes of the time.  These are truly disturbing images of huge mobs of smiling -- photogenic, white people -- men and women -- who were proud to be watching gruesome murders of Black men -- looking as if they were attending the city fair.  But this isn't just about Black men because as Ida Wells-Barnett documented, women and even young girls were brutally lynched as well. 

What I also know from my time at JCC is that these lynchings didn't go away on their own.  It was through the brave action and appeals of activists who fought for legal protections.  Sadly, it is only fear of the law that keeps many people from forming lynch mobs today.  (Yet, violent race based hate crimes still persist and are even on the rise against Middle Easterners and Muslims.)  That is why swift and sound action must be taken to ensure that this never happens again. 

If you choose to err on the side of caution when it comes to encounters that leave you feeling "uneasy" then please be consistent about it and treat threats made to students just as seriously, and placing a noose on someone's desk is most definitely a violent threat.  Also, if you want to live up to providing a student with the freedom to learn that you promise you must also address the racist comments directed at Mr. Oliver.  But before banning a racist student from campus or dismissing a staff member, please offer them the chance to redeem themselves through education because so many of them could seriously use it and you certainly have the resources.  

I plan on applying to a four year university after completing the 2011 Fall Semester.  I want to leave on a high note, championing your school to my nephew, young cousins, and future students.  I want to continue my studies and eventually make JCC proud to have had me as a student. 

Please, consider doing me the same honor. 

With all due respect and admiration,

your student,

The College Dropout.