bad student habits.

Sometimes, when I'm at work, I linger by the window.  I imagine backing up, running, jumping and soaring through the glass.  Sometimes I fly.  Other times I plummet down but I always land on a conveniently parked dump truck that breaks my fall, and then I'm out of there.

Last summer I'd get up at five in the morning to go to the gym with my sister.  But that was when she was separated from her husband and I'm pretty sure she was going that early to spy on him.  Now she's just unreliable.  So I've been sleeping in, but I managed to pull my ass out of bed to work out because I figured it'd help work the demons out of me.  The demons being all my awful impulses.  I guess I should have worked out longer.

I was getting excited remembering the last time I had an EPIC cousin bash.  But then I remembered that if my cousin's boyfriend is there it'll probably end up as a more mellow dinner party.  He's my age and his boyfriend is approaching 50.  He's a respectable and responsible member of the adult community so those gatherings are a little more. . . tame.  I wonder if I should invite my loser uncle's baby mamma.  She's only a year older than me and she was always kind of weird around me and my male cousin, like, awkward and out of place.  She always favored our younger cousins who had children.  I tried to make her feel welcome but it was hard.  It's always hard to warm up to someone when you know that soon they're going to be history.  Yeah, he always invites women over to family functions -- even women who should just be flings, which, I guess they all should be -- and so they think that they're special, but they're not.  Eventually he'll cheat on them and rip them off or he'll hit them and they'll file a PPO against him.  So, I liked her but I didn't want to like her, but I tried to be nice, but not too nice.  I'd hate to be too warm and too kind and have someone stay with him because they are enamored with his obviously lovable family.  And, damnit, she was the only girlfriend of his that could cook!

Speaking of nonnuclear families, I'm interested in different representations of families in schools and the way teachers handle the nonnuclear family, meaning the same sex family, or the divorced family, or the divorced and remarried family, or the single parent family, or the grandparents raising children family, or anything that isn't one dad and one mom who are married to each other. (Remember to come back to this.)

 

I added another goal to my list of things to do while on break: organize my purse.  Mainly because I hate it when someone sees me looking for something in my purse and decides they can find it faster.  Taking away my purse said person mocks me and my cluttered ways.  I say, "give it here, you don't know how to look for anything!"  Because they don't.  And said person begins to pull my stuff out of the purse, dropping the contents all over the place.  Today, it was a folded up post it note that I had written on.  I said, "You're dropping my important words!"  That caused just enough laughter so that I was able to yank the purse away and find my stuffed monkey key chain without taking all the shit out of it.  Organized people blow my mind.  How can they do it?  How can they stand it?  Sometimes I look at three ring binders and folder tabs and I want to cry.  I hate to feel confined. 

So:

1.  Workout.

2.  Organize Purse.

3.  Read McKay poetry, Cane, Savage City (nonfiction), Houellebecq's The Elementary Particles, more to be determined.

4.  Write Claude McKay paper.

5.  Write my own crap and do all that crap.  Crap. crap. crap.

6.  decide on fake class content.

7.  Try to become a nice person and good citizen.  Which means, in the summer, while walking downtown on lunch or for whatever reason, DO NOT tell yuppie strangers in SUV's who ask for directions "I'm not from around here" like I did all last summer.  Also, try to figure out how to actually give directions. 

8.  Return to important work. 

I've been preparing for Creative Writing class. . . I've been writing poems which I don't normally do.  I am writing a poem about librarians and their skinny thighs and libraries.  How I hate them!  How I love them!  How their silence murders my soul.  Because it does.  I hate silence and what worse place to have silence than in a public library.  The librarians I know have such short wave lengths of joy.  It's like they keep their light contained in tiny bubbles, space bubbles maybe -- like my middle school art teacher would call them as she'd waive her arms around her and tell us not to get into anyone else's space bubble.  But that isn't me.  I have no space bubble, and I'm loud, and I'm obnoxious, and all I want to do is take a pin and pop everyone's space bubbles.  How can someone keep joy or passion so quietly contained?  What a travesty.  What a betrayal!

So, basically I have been writing bad poetry.  But sometimes I read poetry of people who are like, I don't know, maybe not good but good enough to graduate from an MFA program and call themselves poets.  And so then I read that poetry and I don't feel so bad about my bad poetry anymore.  Is that an asshole thing to say?  I have such a hard time telling. . .

I've read some playbooks.  The "best of short plays" I read sucked.  Some of the full length plays are okay and they were helpful in showing me how one can write plays.  I think I figured out what I'm going to do.

I had an opportunity to move to a window at work but I declined.  It'd be too hard to focus on what's going on inside when I can see all that there is outside.   

This makes me so angry.

I've been following this case but every time I try to write about it I get so angry and can't finish my thoughts.  
So, I'm just going to copy a huge quote from NCCPR Child Welfare Blog:
And it's pretty relevant to education because while we consider what reforms to make and what tests to take students are having their families and home lives fractured as a result of overzealous psychiatry and a far reaching social services and foster care system that disproportionately affects People of Color and the poor.  How can serious education reformers not talk about this??!  


From the blog's April 18th entry:

Foster care in Michigan: Well what do you know? Maryanne Godboldo’s daughter doesn’t need drugs after all

But Michigan still is 

institutionalizing her anyway

Remember how workers for the Michigan Department of Human Services were so sure that Marianne Godboldo’s daughter absolutely, positively had to be on powerful psychiatric medications that they rushed into court to get an order to tear the child from her mother, by force, if necessary?

Remember how they did that without giving Godboldo a chance to respond?   (It must have been do urgent to get the child on those drugs that there just not enough time.)

Remember how they went to Godboldo’s home and, when she would not surrender her child, called in the police, complete with SWAT team and a tank to force her to give up her child?  Remember how, faced with that armed force outside, Godboldo allegedly fired one shot?

Remember all that?

It must have been really, really urgent that the child get those drugs right away.

Apparently not.

Because now, 25 days after Godboldo’s daughter was institutionalized, she is, not, in fact, back on the meds.  DHS told the court that there is no immediate need for it at this time.

So of course, having realized their mistake, the DHS workers asked the court immediately to return the child to her mother – right?

Yeah, right.

It only works that way for affluent white children like Leo Ratte, the child who was returned home after 48 hours in the Mike’s Hard Lemonade case.  It only works that way for families who can bring top legal talent to bear immediately and win instant sympathy from media – because they are the kind of people lawyers and reporters identify with immediately.  I don’t see any high-powered lawyers volunteering to help Godboldo’s legal team.  And I don’t see the Michigan ACLU rushing to help Godboldo, they way they’re helping the Rattes, by filing a civil suit which that family, to its credit, is using to try to help all Michigan families.

It doesn’t work that way for low income Black children.  Maryanne Godboldo remains institutionalized.  There won’t even be another hearing in the case until April 22.  By then Godboldo’s daughter will have been taken from her mother for 29 days, 14.5 times longer than Leo Ratte.

it continues here. . . .

This isn't makeup, this is war paint!

HOLY TRANSPHOBIA!

WOW.  There's been some seriously ridiculous responses ever since J Crew President posed in some photos with her son, who happens to be wearing pink nail polish.

And by WOW I mean, who would have thought a clothing store as boring and vanilla as J. Crew could stir up so much controversy? 

But as usual, no one can put the controversy into perspective like Jon Stewart:

The Daily Show
Tags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

Sometimes I really start thinking these types of things are pretty much nonissues.  I guess it's the fact that as an adult I avoid surrounding myself with assholes. 

Of course, the outrage isn't just a reflection of transphobia but also sexism.  It is the idea of bending traditional gender norms that bothers people.  It was bad enough when women wanted to join the work place and wear slacks but men, being anything like a w-w-w-w-WOMAN?  Yes, liberating men will be just as painful as liberating women was and continues to be.

In the immortal words of Madonna,um, who sampled them from The Cement Garden (a book and movie, apparently): "Girls can wear jeans, cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots, because it's okay to be a boy.  But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading, because you think that being a girl is degrading.  But secretly, you'd love to know what it's like, wouldn't you -- what it feels like for a girl?" 

And yeah, I have no doubt that some of these foaming at the mouth men secretly squeeze their asses into their wife's lingerie when wifey's out at the market.

It's okay!  You don't have to be ashamed!

But you are.

And if you're going to be an asshole about your own insecurities then I have no sympathy for you when the truth comes out and your lace covered ass hits the headlines.

So I guess if I'd have to sum up my policy on early childhood education it'd be something like. . .

Let the child be!

Let them be curious.  Let them learn.  Let them break shit (not each other).  Let them win.  Let them lose.  Let them cry.  Let them play!

That may not be totally realistic right now. . .

And not that it matters because I have NO interest in teaching little children, but sometimes . . .  sometimes I am truly disturbed by some teachers who want so badly to fit little round pegs into square holes.

I do remember my school's policy against boys with nail polish or makeup.  Which would be fine with me if it was banned for girls too, and maybe it should be, but that wasn't the case.

But I owe a lot to fabulous gender benders.  RuPaul was my first feminist influence.  It was "Supermodel" that did it.  Yeah, an ode to supermodels doesn't immediately sound like a feminist anthem, but as a first grader all I got out of it was about having positive self esteem, being fierce, and going for your dreams.  I would dance to it endlessly and was forever grateful for my mom's coworker who used to make me some typically gay mix tapes featuring the B-52's, Nancy Sinatra, RuPaul, The Village People, Madonna, and many more. 

Eventually I'd move on to better feminist thinkers.  And eventually I'd quit wearing all makeup because I realized I was doing it out of some unexamined habit.  But RuPaul showed me that makeup can be used in a revolutionary way.

And so. . .  I felt OK about buying a bunch of makeup this week.  Yeah, nail polish, lipstick, the works.  I really hate lipstick and I might not use it but it's all an attempt to get the best performance review I can.  I figure I spend so much time at work that I should use my positive reviews in my college application.  The only thing is that new upper management has changed the reviews, what was once exceeding expectations now just meets. So if I get a just OK review showing it to a college will make it look like I've been slipping since my previous reviews were all exceeding expectations.  I've noticed that my boss would probably appreciate it if I wore high heels, painted my nails, and wore makeup.  Makeup always seems to be more appreciated by straight women.  Weird.  So, basically it's like putting a shinny coat of paint over the mask I already wear.  This is not revolutionary, merely utility.  As for heels go. . . I do have some, but it's not warm enough for sandal styles and I don't think my boss would appreciate light up platform heels.  Even though they are awesome!

I really hope that I'll live and teach long enough to tell a male student, "read the student handbook because your skirt is an inch too short!!!!"

Academic-ish things I don't understand.

Eh.

I'm reconsidering my schedule for the Spring semester.

Maybe it's just my mood.

I managed to collect four hours of sleep and woke up with a massive headache.  I thought googling topless photos of Helen Mirren would put me in a good mood but my menstrual cramps ruined any enjoyment I was going to get out of that.  But hey, Helen Mirren, who knew?

So I'm reconsidering my creative writing class but I always feel a certain apprehension before entering into any situation that claims to be "creative." Not all classes are run this way but enough are that I get nervous thinking about them.

Things I'd like to understand about "creative writing" and art in general:  

1.  Is writer's block real?  What, exactly, is it?  Where do you get it?  And why do people feel that this is a problem?  How can I get it? 

2.  Without schools sponsoring the use of psychedelic drugs, do people actually get anything out of sitting alone in the woods, or wherever, and recharging their creative spirit, or reaching out to them, or whatever it is people do when they talk about finding their creativity -- as if it's a distant relative that you lost track of.

3.  Why do teachers assign these strange "artist dates"? 

4.  Why do teacher's use writing prompts in creative writing?

5.  Does anyone actually find them helpful? 

6.  Why do people talk about "creativity" needing to be "retrieved."  As if it's not something that's a part of them all the time?  Or like it's a well that gets drained.  Is this how people really feel?  Why?  I do not understand this concept.

7.  Why do some teachers implement creativity propaganda and spiritual lessons as if this was a Christian conversion or a 12 step program.  Like, is it really that difficult to write or paint or to want to do any of those things?  I mean, I understand rewriting and revising and gaining perspective after you've written something, but is it really so difficult to start?  I don't understand why writing a story is treated like having to show up to work at a sewage filtration plant or something.   

8.  Am I going to be very unpopular if I tell people that Julia Cameron and The Artist's Way seems to be some weird cult to me, and instead of helping me these lessons may give me accidental bulimia because they make me want to puke.  Or maybe fall asleep.  And I had to edit a massive amount of snark out of this statement. 

9.  Does this mean I shouldn't take creative writing classes?


* * *

Of course, my headache is making me want to eat small children so I shouldn't make any decisions now, especially not out of fear.  My future creative writing teacher did instruct me for a week or two when I was in the fifth grade and as I recall I mostly got to wander around on my own and socialize.  AND she did co author a hypertext fiction piece.  Unfortunately, after much searching the interwebs, I cannot find any version of it online.   But when life makes a dead end, I make a door.  Zing!

literary aesthetic for the visually impaired

After reviewing the sample syllabus for my spring creative writing course (one that demands writing be a pleasure for sight, sound, and . . . taste, was it?) I've been thinking about literature for the visually impaired, and by visually impaired I do mean legally blind.

Growing up with an Uncle who lost his sight as a premature infant I always had a hard time knowing how to entertain him.  He was entertaining, when engaged, he always had a sense of humor of someone much younger, or the ability to show it -- I guess -- when every other grown up was so obsessed with the identity of grown ups.  But on days when he stayed at our house while he was in town I remember not knowing what to do for him.  I knew he "watched" television but so much of what goes on in a movie or tv show is lost if you can't see it.  He listened to music.  I never saw him read, although I knew he could read braille.  Mostly I just tried to keep him fed and fill the cd player with popular alt rock bands of the 90's, being that it was the 90's.  

As I  grew older I came to see some of the injustices he endured because his lack of sight made him particularly vulnerable.  It is amazing what people can do to other people when no one is looking, when they think they can get away with it.  The blind live in a world that caters towards the sighted.  Art, as subversive as it can be, as freeing and inclusive it can be, can also exclude and overlook. 

So, what I've been thinking about lately is how so much of writing requires readers to experience emotions and understandings by using images, often very specific images, things that would be much more subjective if you had to conjure them from your own imagination.  I wonder what it would be like to write something using no visual aids but instead emphasizing touch, smell, taste.  Measuring physical distance not by sight but by time, or by footsteps.  Are there books like that?  Poems?  I never really thought of it much before but recently it's been on my mind.  I need to do some research. 

Of course the visually impaired student should read the classics and the same books other students read, but I wonder what it's like to read a book knowing so much of the prose is lost in the translation. And what would it be like for a sighted writer to write without sight?  What possibilities would open up for both the sighted and those who are not? 

I think that for my creative writing class I'll use one of the free write journaling assignments we'll have to try and create something that relies on a reader's senses but not the sense of sight.  Sight, after all, can be one of the weakest senses despite how much we use it.  It can trick us.  It can't tell us everything.  A piece of raw fish on a bed of rice may LOOK fresh but it's the smell that'll really let you know.  Looks never mattered much when it comes to good and evil, in many classic stories it often does, but in real life it doesn't matter a bit.  If you're better trained in your other senses you may look at a face and see the truth but in the voice you may hear a lie.

I mean, I definitely don't think a sighted person, or a person who is sighted for much of their life, can create this literary aesthetic but it would I think that a sighted person could write for a blind person in mind.  If I was in love with someone who was blind and I wanted to write them a love poem (not that I would actually do such a thing) I would want to express something without using images.  I'd want to use something that I knew we both could understand, that we could both share. 

I wonder.  .  .    I wonder.

A dropout's Do's and Dont's of Distance Learning.

I recently read an article about high school kids having to take a distance learning course before graduating.  I'm not sure how this is supposed to be helpful since every class I've ever had presents its own unique challenges based not only on the teacher's style but also the format of the class and where information is scattered throughout the website.  But, I figure, distance learning is the future so I ought to give it some thought.  I hear from every teacher that nothing prepares you for teaching like being in the classroom.  Well, I've been a student in a classroom for long enough to develop fine lines in my forehead so I think I should consider what I've learned.  

The Chronicle spends a lot of time discussing Distance Learning.  These are the articles I try to skim but usually just close because, honestly, nothing sounds more boring or like a bigger waste of time than a professor telling me whether or not I learn well online.

Generally, I've considered distance learning a necessary evil.   I believe in them because they allow me to take classes I could never take otherwise.  And by "distance learning" I mean the kind of online courses offered by public schools, specifically JCC, but definitely not a for profit college because I wouldn't touch a for profit college with a ten foot pole. 

I'm certainly not anti technology.  When I was a teenager my love of web design and instant messenger caused me to meet a brilliant gorgeous lesbian techie from a town over who happened to be reading the same book I was and who would keep my interest in computers alive for quite some time.  In later years my interest turned more towards programming.

So, I'm not afraid of computers, but there are limitations.  By examining my worst classes and my best I think I can up with a model that works better than most of the courses I've seen.  

One of the biggest problems I have with distance learning is how difficult it is to sustain a dialogue.  The fact is, every time I ask a question the answer will probably cause me to ask another question.  This becomes very difficult if you're relying on forum postings.  And in a more difficult course I can become very discouraged.  Basically, it's like trying to talk with a ball gag in your mouth.  Things get lost in translation and what's the point?  Surrender, resistance is futile.      

The Worst

The worst distance learning course I ever took at JCC was more than five years ago and maaaaan DISTANCE was the right word for it.  It consisted of a professor uploading a syllabus that told students what chapters to read, what dates the TWO tests were on, and what books to buy.  One of the books was an expensive study guide but the only reason why it was necessary is because, in addition to the two exams, we were assigned very short simple essays.  However, the questions we had to answer were in the study guide.  I'm talking a total of four questions.  Not enough text to take up a page in that book.  So I was spending a ton of money on something that I could have easily gotten for free had the professor decided just to assign the topics like most professors would.  And I didn't need the study guide because the multiple choice exam was OPEN BOOK WITH NOTES.  So, an easy A.

There were no discussions, not even introductions, there was absolutely nothing except for list of chapters and test dates. 

This was an elective class so I took it to actually learn something.  Plus, online classes cost more money than in person classes but what I was getting I could have gotten from the library for free. 

What really bothered me was that I knew people who had this professor in person and they described some of the fun activities they did, or the wild discussions, and this professor wasn't doing any of that for us. 

For some foolish reason I later took another course with this professor, mainly because I really wanted the course, and it was ran the exact same way.  That was my bad. 

The Middle of the Road

The middle of the road courses involve discussions, typically required participation in forum postings.  Once upon a time someone told me that they preferred online literature courses because he didn't have to look at a student who hadn't read the material, silent and expressionless.  It's true, if you're looking for a more democratic classroom or a classroom where you can be sure everyone participates then online learning is for you.  There is definitely a lot of value in these discussions but they still leave something to be desired.  If you're looking to get by in a class then you won't mind this so much, but if you're really interested in the subject matter you will be endlessly frustrated. 

The Best

One of the best courses I've ever had was, shockingly enough, a math class.  I had taken a math course with the same professor years ago and it wasn't great.  But I have to hand it to the math department, they've been rocking their shit because now they're utilizing youtube and Scribid.   Now, I know lecturing isn't very popular right now.  The whole idea of a professor pontificating and a student passively receiving the information may leave something to be desired.  But I want a lecture!  I miss them!  Okay, if you speak in a monotone voice and you're utterly bored with what you're teaching PLEASE DON'T LECTURE!!!!  But if you're passionate about what you teach then give a passionate lecture once in awhile!  Passion is infectious!  It's engaging!  People are drawn to passion like a moth to a flame.  Ok, so you'll probably never see anything like The Dead Poet's Society, but somewhere out there will be a student who was nodding off, suddenly opening his or her ears and an open mind will follow.

So, while I didn't see math teachers standing on desks and panting about logarithms they did use some of this technology to lecture and explain problems.  Professor Jody Rooney would put on an in person study group before each exam but then also do one online for anyone who couldn't make it.  She used Scribid and we were either supposed to ask questions via microphone or through a chat feature.  It was EXTREMELY helpful.

Another model that I enjoyed was Professor D. Agy's Short Story and Novel course.  Like Rooney, she utilized different forms of technology to maximum advantage.  We were required to check out certain websites to give us background information on literature (racism at the time the author wrote a story, anxiety around WWII, etc.) and she always provided the links under the threat of "I can tell whether or not you click on them!!" so you can be sure I was clicking on them.  She also did mini lectures through powerpoint and she used voice recordings.  Of course we had our normal discussion posts, though I would say that the topics didn't generate much discussion because of what we were required to do, but more on that in a future entry. 

The other thing she did that I really liked was that she required us to engage in chatroom chats with a maximum of three students for a minimum of 30 minutes.  Of course, they always went over because there was so much to cover.  It was an interesting approach that I hadn't seen before because most classes require you to work individually.  I usually like individual work, there's nothing more annoying than being tied to a group that's bringing you down, but I liked what she was trying to do.  And sometimes I learned something and considered something I wouldn't have on my own and I wouldn't have considered had we not been able to discuss it in a way that people do when they are actually having a conversation. 

I've seen other classes come close to these models, attempting to enhance learning by adding visuals and background information along with text and I like that but I don't think they do it nearly enough.

To me, the best online course would be one that includes audio and visual learning.  Not only reading, but also using pictures when appropriate.  It would involve a chat feature between students but even occasionally with a professor where students ask to have something elaborated on.  This could be before tests or at the end of a chapter.  It could be just once or twice a semester, still it'd be something.   

A Dropout's Vision:

Thinking about this has inspired me to make a model for a class.  I know, I know, I know, high school teachers don't actually get that much freedom in what or how they teach, I have been told this by frustrated and former teachers but for this exercise I am going to pretend that anything is possible.  I am going to make an EPIC online class.  What am I going to do with it?  Who the hell knows. Maybe I'll find a way to present it in the portfolio that I send out to colleges (whether or not that ends up in the trash is another story) or maybe it'll give me some ideas for what I am going to propose to a professor in the fall all in an attempt to get a letter of recommendation because. . . while learning is it's own reward I have to keep my eye on the bottom line.

So, to be continued.  .  .

A REAL letter to JCC.

Well, I thought I'd write my final discussion topic on WEB Du Bois for African American Literature but now I am leaning towards Ida B Wells-Barnett.  I have to admit, I'm actually a little nervous sending this letter especially since transcripts and official records get sent from the school straight to the university that I so desperately want to attend but injustice is injustice is injustice and I cannot be a good student or a good teacher without being a good person and citizen.  

Dear Jackson Community College,

I was recently notified that I would be receiving a Recognition in Learning Award which I was very excited to hear.  Overall, I've had a great experience at Jackson Community College and the professors are overwhelmingly wonderful teachers who are obviously dedicated to helping their students, and who would not tolerate harassment and discrimination in their classroom.  That is why it deeply saddens me to be sending both a "thank you" card and a letter of complaint. 

I am deeply disturbed over the news concerning the lawsuit against JCC.  I understand that this occurred shortly after the Arizona shooting.  I also understand that JCC is in an impossible situation where acting too quickly means overreacting and failing to act -- should something happen -- means the public blames you.  But in my opinion, what happened to Michael Oliver is shameful from beginning to end.  

First, I want to address a comment that was made by a JCC instructor which, according the paper, was a confirmed comment.  As a white person who grew up in a surrounding rural community, I can tell you that Francis Street is most definitely code word for "Black."  Any comment I ever heard about Francis Street growing up was derogatory and based on it being a predominately Black and poor area of Jackson.  I also understand that if you grow up hearing said comments you may accept those statements without question.  Now that I actually live near Francis Street, I have walked the street and even used the city bus stop to go to JCC.  I find that it is a street, like any other street, minus swimming pools and predominately white faces.  Is it full of "bad, bad people."  Absolutely not!  Is there crime?  Yes -- show me a street that is free of crime and I will pull open a stained glass door to reveal the worst crime that occurs behind closed doors on EVERY and ANY street.  Racism aside, I do not believe it would be appropriate for a professor to denigrate any area which your students could possibly live in.  I do not believe there is any place for derogatory comments about Francis Street in a government subsidized classroom. This is not only illegal but also a violation of your own policies explained in the document "Student Rights and Responsibilities Code of Conduct."

Secondly, when I was a child I remember my sister, my brother, and I playing with a piece of rope and I tied it into a noose and gave it to my annoying little brother.  My father immediately made me untie it, scolded me, and stressed how dangerous it could be.  It was not something I would repeat.  So when I read of the news of the lawsuit against JCC I was a little shocked over details that claim adult students would consistently tie their ropes into nooses.  I would think that insurance concerns alone would make this a punishable offense.  Then, to read that a noose was placed on a Black students desk is HORRIFYING.  If there was ever anyone who should be taken in for a mental evaluation, suffer through the humiliation of handcuffing and a strip search, it is the disturbed individual who would use the threat of lynching against a Black man.     

But take heart, because I can say that I am righteously disgusted over this not in spite of you, JCC, but BECAUSE of you.  I have had multiple amazing professors here who have taught my white ass all about the history of racism and oppression in our nation.  So my suggestion to take the proper action necessary to keep this from ever happening again is to do what you do best: EDUCATE. 

If a student or professor lets these things fly make them attend some of the courses I have.  Currently, I'm enrolled in African American Literature and while I considered myself generally well versed in American racism it has completely opened my eyes to the history of lynching.  Anyone who could find these students actions "childish" or harmless would do a 180 if they studied the literary works of the courageous Ida B. Wells-Barnett or if they viewed the horrific photos of lynchings that once circulated as postcards amongst your Average Joes of the time.  These are truly disturbing images of huge mobs of smiling -- photogenic, white people -- men and women -- who were proud to be watching gruesome murders of Black men -- looking as if they were attending the city fair.  But this isn't just about Black men because as Ida Wells-Barnett documented, women and even young girls were brutally lynched as well. 

What I also know from my time at JCC is that these lynchings didn't go away on their own.  It was through the brave action and appeals of activists who fought for legal protections.  Sadly, it is only fear of the law that keeps many people from forming lynch mobs today.  (Yet, violent race based hate crimes still persist and are even on the rise against Middle Easterners and Muslims.)  That is why swift and sound action must be taken to ensure that this never happens again. 

If you choose to err on the side of caution when it comes to encounters that leave you feeling "uneasy" then please be consistent about it and treat threats made to students just as seriously, and placing a noose on someone's desk is most definitely a violent threat.  Also, if you want to live up to providing a student with the freedom to learn that you promise you must also address the racist comments directed at Mr. Oliver.  But before banning a racist student from campus or dismissing a staff member, please offer them the chance to redeem themselves through education because so many of them could seriously use it and you certainly have the resources.  

I plan on applying to a four year university after completing the 2011 Fall Semester.  I want to leave on a high note, championing your school to my nephew, young cousins, and future students.  I want to continue my studies and eventually make JCC proud to have had me as a student. 

Please, consider doing me the same honor. 

With all due respect and admiration,

your student,

The College Dropout.   

I would like to thank the academy . . .

I was going to preempt my college evaluations with a very pissed off blog entry concerning recent events involving a Detroit family and some seriously overreaching child protection policies but am delaying it due to the amount of overtime I've been working plus an unfortunate business known as "homework." 

However . . .

when I came home today I was feeling exhausted from work -- not to mention seriously sleep deprived because of the fight outside that woke me up this morning, among other things -- feeling like my last essay for English was shit, wondering if my lunch break posting even made sense or just rambled on, angry about the Detroit situation, upset looking at the surrounding home foreclosures (knowing that Jackson Affordable Housing's funding has been cut), and then I get the mail expecting the usual junk, but instead I received notification that I will soon be the recipient of a Recognition in Learning Award!!!!!!!!!!!

And actually, I was thinking of asking this professor for a letter of recommendation but then I started to talk myself out of it, figuring that he wouldn't even remember me by the time I'd ask for it.   But. . . maybe I was wrong.

I used to not care about awards, or maybe I just let the peculiar sense of shame I get when I receive one from take hold of me, but now I've come to see that awards matter because they matter to everyone else.  So, it'll look good on a transcript and lawd knows I need all the help I can get.

So, shortly before the ceremony, I am promised a new co worker who will help save me from this hot mess of work, but it's an external hire and I won't know what that'll mean or if I'll be free that night or not.  But either way I need to send a thank you card. At first I considered an email but then I remembered that Thank You cards are classy shit.  Of course my handwriting is awful, and I think cutting and pasting letters from magazines would make it look more like a ransom note and really bring the whole "classy" part down. 

So . . . either I'll buy two cards and practice slowly writing like an adult woman rather than an angry five year old  OR I'll ask my coworker/friend with good penmanship to write it for me. 

Speaking of dishonesty, I recently read an article that claims 82 % of college admissions boards will stalk your facebook.  Mine's on private -- plus I kinda hate facebook -- but when I read that I figured that when I apply I'll make all intelligent posts public and start taking pictures where I wear glasses.  Except, I don't wear glasses so I decided that would be a little too dishonest, but fortunately it's now abundantly clear that I am in desperate need of reading glasses.  As soon as I can get time off of work I will be heading straight to an optometrist (for now I am just pounding bottles of aspirin). 

So, could my failing eyesight be a favor from the universe?  I think so!

Unfortunately there will still be the problem of limiting friends' responses to my Uber-Intelligent status updates to the following:

"Interesting."

"You're such a nerd/bookworm."

"Wow, your awesome mind power could level a small city."
No more "dork" insults.  That just doesn't imply enough intelligence.  

So much work to do.

Bullshit Detection 101

Sometimes I'm deeply saddened about the death of newspapers. . .

but then I read the editorials in the local paper and my sadness turns to relief. 

Hyuck. Hyuck.

See, I can laugh at the misfortunes of others just as easily as their writers!

Well, it's clear to me that schools ARE failing. 

And it's not the test scores I'm talking about.  And it's not "human capital." 

Apparently the failure lies in reasoning and ability to analyze historical trends.

Allow me to introduce the subject of my case study:

My Sarah Palin loving anti-government republican uncle,

who, by the way, was a government employee for three decades.

Of course he voted for Snyder but now that he wants to tax his pension he is appalled!  He offers a compromise though, which is tax all the new pensions, but not his!!

I assume that he's fairly literate considering how many birther emails he likes to forward on.  Yet he's shocked over something that liberals knew was coming? 

And he is far from alone!

Oh the roaring outcry on the Interwebz!

So how is it that there are republicans JUST NOW realizing this is a party for the rich? 

Could it be that they were simply so scared running away from all the Black Gay Muslims that they didn't ask what they were running towards? 

I know, I know, it's scary!  Sometimes you just have to run towards the whitest and straightest man you can, especially with this new Radical Islamic Atheist threat that I've been hearing about.  (Although, as an atheist, I think it's a little rude that I haven't received my invitation for Islamic world domination.)

So,

here's the problem for someone like me: In PUBLIC conversations I must support, support, support teachers and education because the climate is so hostile to teachers and education, but in the PRIVATE sphere, or in a narrower sphere at least, is where I reserve my desires about "reforming" education.  The fact that "reform" is linked with Rhee and Klein makes it a difficult word to use without going into lengthy explanations in order to differentiate from the Rhee model.  (I'm not really sure how it is "reform" considering that standardized testing was important when I was a kid.)  I'm concerned with the same things everyone else is, teaching students the basics.  I'm concerned with the achievement gap.  I'm concerned with political policies that keep students down because of poverty or institutional racism.  I'm seriously concerned when students can get suspended for cursing in class and yet racism, homophobia, and general bullying gets protected by the notion of free speech.  I'm also concerned with teaching students how to research, think critically, and analyze trends.  People should leave school with some tools to defend themselves against BULLSHIT because they're going to be wading through it their entire lives.    

One thing that really bothers me about some of the teachers I had in the past was how resistant they were to the internet.  They wanted you to only research using books because the internet "wasn't reliable."  What teachers should be doing is showing students how to use the internet responsibly.  I think a lot of the resistance will change naturally but teachers who embrace the internet still need to show students how to use it properly and filter out the bullshit from the credible search results.  Bullshit always existed but free email just proliferated the spread.   

Such is life.. 

Topics for next time:

Analysis of the distance learning courses offered at JCC

&

Room for improvement in Literature and Language Arts

Ken Robinson classics.

This about sums up my feelings on ADHD. . . and is also why I get so upset with a teacher who wants to medicate my five year old nephew because he "talks too much."